Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Semi-claustrophobic

I don't know when it happened. Suddenly, I was thrust into an emptiness that engulfed me completely. It was like nothing I did ever made sense anymore, and I didn't know the reason why I continued to do anything. I don't think it's college life, or maybe in a sense, it is. The reason for this feeling just escapes me.

Part of me continues to wish that we had never graduated, and that we'd forever remained in our 'seemingly innocent' world of childish dreams and fantasies, aka High School. Another part of me likes college in the sense that it brings new adventures and new friends, together with new experiences that impart so many lessons in our lives. For the moment, the biggest chunk in me dreams of just getting on with my life, finishing college and just living my life (and of course wishing for a family and a good job). It's not that I'm rushing to end school and everything that comes with it (friends, steady income aka allowance, lesser responsibilities, et al), but something in me just wants to get all these stressful events over and done with so that I can finally lay to rest, literally.

I can't tell you guys to just ignore me, I know you care for me and will constantly nag me about how I am, considering the fact that I see you guys practically everyday. Cha and Sheree, you guys are one of the closest friends I've ever had in my life. Thanks fo being there when I'm down, and helping me laugh to forget my problems.

Even though we don't update this blog anymore, for reasons I can't comprehend, I hope that we continue to stay good friends who are just within reach whenever problems arise. I know that we will someday part, some sooner than expected because you guys have plans of going to other universities, but I hope that what we have, won't ever be forgotten.

I hope I get over this loneliness, so I can come to realize that life is worth living because I have friends like you. :) Damn, I need to laugh insanely. I haven't laughed insanely in a while, and when I say that, I mean it in the sense that it's honest and that I don't care what other people think of me when I do so. Just like in high school...

Truly Yours,
Christa

posted by Crayzta @ 12:47 AM 2 Comments